I remember the first time I realized I was stronger than my classmates. It was an altercation in 7th grade gym class. I was so stunned by my, what felt like overwhelming strength, I remember thinking I could really hurt someone and not realize it until it was too late. I suddenly was aware of my own physical strength and it terrified me.
Fast forward to adulthood and I recognize today how much my physical strength has motivated me to stand up for others, kept me going through tough times and maybe even inspired other women.
Today I have what I call a ‘2 bridges walk’ I can do to help myself heal and momentarily banish the cabin fever I find myself sharing the house with these days. Lately, we’ve had lots of rain and the small stream (not river for all you Midwestern folks) has been running high. The dog and I have been making trips to check on the water levels as a way of having something to do that gets me out of the house, walking and clearing my head. Allister, our junkyard dog from Taiwan, is happy too because he gets to read the local dog smells aka ‘the doggie paper’.
As we stood there one day, I really noticed the power of the brown surging water. It suddenly dawned on me the power I have in my body right now, even as it’s recovering. Instead of feeling like it’s broken and weak, I realized it is only resting now and will be back even stronger than before. How exciting for someone in their 50’s. My body will be better than it was before the cancer. I can look forward to riding my bike. I will be able to move up the most challenging hills and will once again be able to feel the strength in my legs (always a source of pride) as they move me forward.
