What’s Behind Self-Talk?

The other day, I was upset with myself because I felt I was not doing enough on a project. I started saying the same old things I’ve said to myself a million times before, “Why didn’t you get it done? You are so lazy!”

Instead of continuing to beat myself up, or admonishing myself for saying these negative and limiting statements, I tried something different.

You see, it’s not what you say that matters, it’s why you say it. If I trained myself to stop saying those words, but the reason I’m saying them is not addressed, it won’t make a difference. If I try to stop thinking or saying the words, I’m just resisting what I’m feeling.

What I said next was, “Even though I feel lazy, I love and accept myself as I am.”*

Instead of fighting against my feelings, I acknowledge them, and more importantly, I admit that is what I’m feeling right now.

I was amazed at how quickly the emotional charge associated with feeling lazy dissipated. I didn’t try to hide it. I didn’t try to override it with a positive platitude. I didn’t ignore it. I felt it and said I was okay with it.

I also didn’t question whether I was actually lazy or not. Arguing facts won’t help. It’s the feeling I had of being lazy that I needed to address.

I’ve tried to use this simple statement with other instances of self-talk as well. When I start to feel or say something negative to myself, I quickly bring the feeling out of the quietness of my mind and into the light of my love and acceptance.

I’ve discovered there is a lot more self-talk and suppressed emotions going on in my head than I thought. By listening more, I’ve become more aware of what is going on in the recesses of my mind.

This is an easy exercise for you to try on your own. You don’t have to tell anyone you’re doing it, and you can do it anytime. Once you start, you’ll be amazed at how easy it is to listen more closely to yourself.

“Even though I feel [say what you are feeling], I love and accept myself as I am.”

The simple statement can help set you free. Please try it.

*Side note: Even as I write these words, I feel the emotion of love and acceptance rush over me.