Separating Who You Are from What You Do

by | Dec 3, 2019 | Experiences, Peter's Voice

We sometimes get so wrapped up in what we’re doing that we don’t allow ourselves the space to separate what we are trying to accomplish from who we are as individuals. If we succeed in getting what we want, we think of ourselves as a success. If we fail, then we think of ourselves as failures.

If we don’t have enough friends, money, health, or happiness, do we see ourselves as not enough as well?

This is a dangerous way to live.

When we tie our self worth to our accomplishments, we will continuously strive for more.

We all make mistakes, but that doesn’t make us all bad. We can learn from our mistakes and not become them.

When I was struggling with depression, I could not separate the bad decisions I made from thinking I was a bad person. I was convinced that each bad choice I made was proof of the flaws in my character. Every one of those bad choices contributed to my sense of worthlessness.

To overcome this thinking, I first had to gain an appreciation of who I was. I had to recognize that I was unique, and I mattered in the world. From there, I could separate who I was from what I experienced.

Whether I created the experiences, or they happened to me, I was separate from them. And because I was separate, I could choose how to react to them. Having choices is empowering.

When I think back to where I was and living a life filled with so many difficulties to where I am today, the difference is quite significant. I can now separate what I do from who I am and view that capability as one of my biggest accomplishments.

If you are struggling with self-confidence, indecisiveness, or lots of self-critical thinking, this is something for you to consider as well.

Remember: You are still you, no matter what you do.

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