Has anyone told you to just listen?
They don’t need you to do anything or even respond. Your job is to just sit there and listen.
Many of us, myself included, have a strong need to fix things. If I hear about a problem, I feel it’s my job to find the solution.
Just listening and being present is hard.
Particularly when the topic might somehow reflect back negatively on me. Fixing someone else’s problem is easier than listening to something that relates to me.
But that is exactly what’s required: active listening. If what you hear causes you to react, it’s not something to avoid, but to embrace.
Triggers only work when there is enough truth to cause the trigger.
Pushing back against the trigger is futile. For example, it doesn’t do you any good to act defensively when someone gives you feedback that you seem defensive.
When you hear something that doesn’t fit your internal view of the world, it’s natural to want to challenge it.
Instead, just listen. That moment is probably not the right time to unpack what you are hearing. But being present to the words and the feelings is the first step.
The next time someone starts talking to you about a sensitive subject, just listen. There are lessons in the words and your reaction to them.
Consider yourself lucky to hear what you need to hear. You might not be ready to thank them yet, but they are sharing a gift with you.
Remember, things don’t happen to you. You have a role to play in everything you experience. Take advantage of the messages you get and practice being open enough to hear the lessons they contain.