Experiences, Happier, Peter&Beth

What is Absence of Desire?

Desire is “a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen,” according to the Oxford Dictionaries.

There’s a huge difference between wanting or wishing and knowing. You don’t desire something when you know you already have it. And you don’t desire something when you know what you have is already good enough.

It’s okay to have goals you want to achieve. That is one of the joys of life. We see things we want all the time, and we get many of them. But sometimes we have difficulties with big things or things that seem beyond our reach.

It’s almost like when we wish for something; it’s on a different plane. It’s far, far away. It is up there, and we are down here. The wanting and wishing highlight the difference. It highlights the gap.

The desire is on a different plane

Her story made it clear to me

I have a new friend that helped me to understand what Absence of Desire really means. I know what the words mean, but her story made the difference so clear to me.

She told me she used to live in Chicago and didn’t like it. She was from the South and missed the people, culture, and her family. She complained about her job and wanted to move back home. This went on for some time. During that period she read and learned more about the Law of Attraction. Specifically reading the books by Ester and Jerry Hicks.

Somewhere along the way, she decided that living in Chicago was fine. She started to enjoy her work more and found more connection with people. She was still interested in moving back home, but the difference between the two places was not as large as it once was. She knew life back home would be nice, but she was just as happy and content with life in Chicago. Chicago was okay, and she was content. The wanting and wishing went away. She no longer focused on the gap between the two places.

And that’s when she got the offer to move back home. Out of the blue, she was offered a great job in her hometown, doing exactly what she wanted to do.

Wow, I thought, as she was telling me her story. I thought back to how often I looked at the gap between what I had and what I wanted, and when I noticed the difference would exclaim “I can’t wait!”

I’ve been focusing on what was missing, not on what I had. I was focusing on the gap.

Since then, I’ve started to focus more on what I have that is similar to what I want, and highlight the similarities. I’m more aware of where I am and what I have and less focused on where I’m not and what I don’t have. As I do this more and more, I realize that what I have is pretty darn nice.

The absence of desire is when you get to the point where you are no longer wanting. You no longer desire and wish for something to happen. You are okay with how things are now.

I realize not everyone has it nice. Some people have it pretty tough.

I’ve experienced rough times in my life. When I think about how I got out of those difficult times, it was by focusing on the good parts and not on what was making it so hard. This was after learning my thoughts matter, and I can choose my thoughts.

I believe we can get anything we want. All the wealth, health, friendships, and riches of all manner. But only as we learn to want without desire.

How about you? Are there things you “desire” in your life where you focus on the gap and not on where you are today?

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