When you learn to give without expecting anything in return, you can experience abundance without feeling the need to pay.

I love this concept. At its core is the concept of balance. All of us have a sense of balance. A sense of what is fair. We become uncomfortable when we see inequality.

Our sense of fairness applies to what we think we deserve and to what we think others deserve.

There is a wonderful video of children reacting to what they feel is unfair. In the video, young boys and girls work together to gather colored balls into baskets. When they finish, they are rewarded with a bowl of candy. The boys receive twice as much as the girls. They are told the boys deserve more. Their reaction to what they both clearly see as unfair is timeless.

One of the reasons we see such imbalance in the world is we don’t all have the same sense of balance or fairness. Some people value themselves, their time, or their contributions much greater than others. A king views his time more valuable than those who serve him. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t be much of a king.

This sense of balance and how we value ourselves is important to how we interact with others, and greatly impacts our relationship with money.

We can only get what we believe we deserve

None of us can feel comfortable getting something for nothing or paying less than what we feel we owe. We might do it for a short time, but we can’t sustain the imbalance for long.

How you feel about yourself and your self-worth, translates to how much you should be paid for your time. Highly compensated people have a highly elevated view of their self-worth.

Most of us were raised to believe in fairness. We were told that we can only get something in exchange for something else. We can’t get dessert until we finish our meal. We can’t play until we finish our homework. We can’t get money unless we have a job. All these lessons created and reinforced our belief in balance.

If you feel you are not receiving enough of something in your life, take a look at your sense of balance. There are two fundamental questions to ask yourself:

1) How much do I deserve?
2) How much am I giving?

For example, if you don’t have enough love in your life, the first question to ask yourself is; how much love do you deserve? This is an important question, and one worth spending your time on. The answer is tied to your sense of self-worth. The more you feel you deserve, the more you can receive.

The second question is how much are you giving. For love, how much love are you spreading? If you are cynical, fearful, or judgmental, you are spreading those energies which conflict with love.

You can only get as much as you believe you deserve. Whether it’s love, health, or money, you strive for balance.